What a shit movie.

Posted : 2 weeks, 6 days ago on 7 August 2008 07:30 (A review of Walking Tall)

Walking Tall is such a yawn fest I couldn't believe I had forked out money to go and see this at release.

Dwayne Johnson played by "The Rock" is a "regular guy" who returns to his home town to discover a Casino has over run things, and the town is now a corrupt mess, with all the residents either throwing away their life savings in the casino, or working for the beast itself.

The message is dumbed down enough for you to understand. "Drugs, Gambling and Alcohol are bad" Why on earth are films still telling us this message?! We aren't stupid, its Global warming and recycling that are the mundane messages of the week now! I can only imagine that Walking Tall is aimed at the lowest common denominator, wrestling fans! Why else would you shove The Rock into the lead role? These guys and perhaps the people that think Smoking is important because it stops bugs getting in your throat, and lots of alcohol kills the bacteria in your belly making you clean.

The film loses any shred of credibility when it included machine guns and explosions in the mix, to up the adrenaline and get a few decent money shots for the commercials.

To save yourself any hassle in watching this film, The Rock becomes sheriff of his home town, and goes on a rampage clearing things up. He sorts out the casino, the drug dealers and the crooks, and everyone lives happily ever after.
The plot to this film could be written on the back of a soiled beer mat, but quite frankly it would be a waste of a perfectly good place to put your drink!

The Rock is not a bad actor, in fact since this film he has played some decent roles. But until he distances himself from such mundane roles as this, he cant expect not to be criticized. The acting is not the problem in this film, everyone does a solid job with the resources at hand. Everything else is the problem. Its just a poor story!!

I wouldn't recommend this film to anybody, unless you are a gambler, who takes drugs, smokes and drinks. But then you are such a bloody fool I don't care what you watch anyway, and you would probably never read this review because your too busy being a joke.

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The only insult here is they stopped at 3!

Posted : 2 weeks, 6 days ago on 7 August 2008 05:57 (A review of Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult)

Naked Gun 33 1/3 has to be one of the funniest spoofs ever to be made. Only rivaled by perhaps Naked Gun, and Naked gun 2 1/2.

The best bits about these films are not the obvious in your face slap stick jokes as most people would think and feel at face value. (Such as punching the queen in the face) The real comedy is found in the script, the background happenings and the consistent jokes that are carried throughout the series. The humerus misunderstandings, the stake outs gone wrong. You never get the feeling of "i can see where this is going" its more of a "why the fuck did that happen?!"

It covers pretty much every base when it comes to comedy. If you don't like double entendres, you might like metaphors or irony. The way it is all set out you can appreciate this film at different ages in different ways. Its a family film, with adult jokes.

This series marks a time when Leslie Nielsen was still funny, a film with him in looked like it would be entertaining, instead of "one to miss!" This is a time when O.J Simpson was the lovable, and frightfully mis fortunate Nordberg and not an alleged murderer.

I recommend this film to anybody tired of lazy, cheesy comedies. People who are tired of Eddie Murphy releasing torrents of shite every year, ruining his profile with every breast joke he makes. Tired of Adam Sandler still being allowed to make the films Ben Stiller wont touch, and tired of "GENRE Movie" spoofs like "Date Movie" being forced into our lives.

God I wish they made films like this again!


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Classic 80's

Posted : 2 weeks, 6 days ago on 7 August 2008 05:35 (A review of Ghostbusters)

This film is one of a select few which epitomizes the 80's entirely.

Ghostbusters is set in New York, as all films involving a city on the brink of disaster seemed to be back then. Your typical scenario, people start to see Ghosts, and 3 clever gentlemen (and their employee Winston) figure out a simple (but extremely scientific) way to make money from it.

Soon enough the men become heroes, vanquishing ghouls and ghosts throughout the city, until that is, they get more than they bargained for as an evil God is beginning to awaken from another dimension, and it is up to the Ghostbusters to stop it!

The script is full of hilarious gags, scenes and even the odd scary (ish) scenarios within it. Coupled with grade A acting from Murray, Aykroyd, Ramis (and Hudson) with Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis supporting them brilliantly. The casting was done to perfection, and I can not imagine anybody else being more suitable for the roles.

The story may sound a little bit corny from my description, but it is not at all. This is a classic! The special effects are dated, but at the same time the Ghosts look as good today as they did back then, and any attempt at CGI now would no doubt look awful. The music is extremely dated, but 80's goes in and out of fashion so much today it might be cool to hear, tomorrow maybe not so much?

The scale of this movie is huge when you think about it, films do not seem to feel as big as this any more, in the sense that when watching it I "feel" that New York is a BIG place, full of monsters. Where as in other films, "I am Legend" for example, New York feels like one mans back garden. This is a grand film well worth your time.

I recommend this movie to the younger generation. Mainly because I expect people 20+ (at least) to have grown up with the Ghostbusters, let alone having seen the film. Anyone who does not know who the Ghostbusters are, get down to your rental shop and borrow the box set. (I and II) Whilst you are there, get Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I II and III. These 5 films tell you everything you need to know about why back in the 80's superheros were way cooler.


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Not Economically Viable.

Posted : 2 weeks, 6 days ago on 7 August 2008 01:18 (A review of Falling Down)

I spent last night watching "Falling Down" as it was recommended to me by a friend of mine, as a film I must see. I read the back of the DVD case and instantly knew this film was going to be one I liked.

D-Fens just a regular guy, doing a job he thinks is "right" and doing all the "right things" in life suddenly snaps when he realizes the entire world is full of shit. Determined to put the world to rights he begins a rampage through LA, all the while just "trying to get home" but coming across more and more scenarios that just take the piss and push him that bit further over the edge.

His journey through the city is mirrored by the story of Detective Martin Prendergast who is just a shift away from retirement from the police force. He begins to piece together a series of events happening across the city, all connected by "a white guy, in a white shirt and tie"

Both stories have you emphasizing with the characters woes, laughing at their situations and shocked by some of the more violent scenes. The stories eventually combine at a great ending, you are left blaming America for everything that happened, and for letting its people down.

This film has an excellent tale to it, great characters and a potent message. There are so many wrongs in the world it is surprising more men haven't gone the way of D-Fens.

As usual, I recommend this film. Mainly to people who like films with meaning, its not an action movie or such what. It is definitely a film worth watching.



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Brilliant Film

Posted : 4 weeks ago on 30 July 2008 03:53 (A review of WALL-E)

When I said I was going to see Wall-E i was called a big kid, and laughed at! I ignored the response and I am glad I did.

It was a brilliant film, especially by Disneys standards, which made me laugh plenty of times.
It had a powerful message about waste and recycling and also about laziness and how we should look after ourselves and the planet. It didn't do this in an old fashioned lecturing way, it didn't even feature a single planeteer! But still the message was clear as day throughout the film, without actually being spoken.

The characters in this film were subtle and hilarious, they weren't thrown in your face and marketed at you ready for Christmas. There isn't anything I can think of in this film that is bad, where as normally you can expect a spin off, sequel or cheesy sing a long video to come later.

Disney have definitely excelled themselves in making this film, there is barely any script and it relies entirely on plot and animation. I was worried going in that it would just be a silent movie which would bore me, but it was extremely moving, and you weren't given the chance to notice there was not anything being said.

I cant wait to show this film to my kid in a few years, normally I cringe at Disney movies, but this is a classic.

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Good all round action film.

Posted : 1 month ago on 28 July 2008 02:42 (A review of Live Free or Die Hard)

I am about a year behind the rest of the world in finally seeing Die Hard 4.0 (as it was called here in the UK!)

I am kind of glad i waited, it was a purely brilliant film that i feel i appreciated more seeing on a smaller screen, as i didn't have all the hype and expectation about me which i would have had in the cinema around the time of release.
Without the haze of expectation i went into this film knowing it would not be a patch on the other 3 (admittedly i have only seen Die Hard properly, the other 2 i have only seen *most of* a very long time ago!) but that i would enjoy it none the less.

The action scenes are hilarious and i sat through them laughing and even clapping at times, because there would be something unexpected, or completely unrealistic that would arise in Johns favor. The story was quite well written, although it lacked that die hard feel, it wasn't even set at Christmas!!!
Bruce Willis did exceptionally well reprising the role considering his age difference, i was hoping deep down he might come out and announce a 5th film to end all films, perhaps killing the character off in the process whilst saving the world "because someones got to do it!"

The lines were witty as expected, the actors all brilliantly portrayed their characters, and i was left satisfied come the end of the film that every last member of the terrorist faction was dead, and everything was tied up in a neat package.

They dont really make action films like this any more, no body expects a work of art from it, but now days action seems to mean "Action - plot = Easy Money" and Die Hard 4.0 definitely goes back to the old school train of thought "Plot + Action = Great Movie!" It really says something when a film sequel to a quite aged trilogy can outdo pretty much every action movie since its predecessors time. I also think it shows Willis' much cooler side, which he has been lacking in a LOT of his recent roles!

I recommend this to the obvious Die Hard fans, although you would probably have already seen it! But if you haven't because you are young, or you are not in to Action movies, then give this a whirl you wont regret it, its just a bit of fun.

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A superb film.

Posted : 2 months, 3 weeks ago on 6 June 2008 09:28 (A review of Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood of War)

A friend recommended this film to me as one i had to watch, and i am extremely glad he did. The story itself is beautiful, the way it portrays the love of a brother for his younger sibling and how he will go to any length to protect him. The props and settings used for the film are excellent, making it a very convincing story which holds no punches in opening your eyes to the horrors of war.
This film left me feeling extremely thankful that i have never had to fight in a war and likely never will, especially a trench war as horrific as this one! It also left me feeling sad i will never get to feel that kind of brotherly bond, as i only have a sister. This film is a definite must for all, and i cant imagine it ever getting a bad review/rating as it hits every single button correctly and does exactly what it aimed to.

It is a subtitled film, which i have no issues with, but you might, So i felt it worth a mention, they are done properly so you wont find any dodgy translations!





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Awful Awful Film.

Posted : 4 months, 1 week ago on 20 April 2008 09:36 (A review of X-Men: The Last Stand)

For months before X-MEN 3 i was excited, the adverts looked awe inspiring and the story sounded brilliant. I really thought it would be the greatest of the trilogy and that they would continue to surpass themselves at every turn. Instead we got this awful kill fest that just trys to make the story "shocking" by killing half the characters aimlessly instead of actually creating a better plot. They tried to hard to incorporate as many fan favorites as possible so that everyone would feel like they must see it to view x and y.
This film was a blatant ploy to get everyone into the cinema and out again for as little effort as possible, milking the success of the other 2 films a little too far and insulting anyone who actually liked the first two films. I hear they are making a wolverine and a magneto film, im not very sure wether i shall bother to watch them! I will probably wait until someone else buys it on DVD and puts it on as i am not giving them another PENNY of my money after this shite.
If you really like X-Men then dont bother with this unless you have to, i think my review will wind up having a good effect on you as you will think "Oh, it wasn't as bad as he felt!" but when your the other way around, expecting gold, you find it hard not to feel let down.
All i remember in the cinema now is getting up feeling gutted that i had raised my hopes on this, even my partner was disappointed for me because she knew id been looking forward to it for weeks. It'l take a lot of people raving and shouting about the next films for me to take interest!!

Definite 1/10 from me!

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A Brilliant Story.

Posted : 4 months, 1 week ago on 19 April 2008 05:48 (A review of Battle Royale)

I recommend this film to everyone who can handle subtitles and mild gore really, its a brilliant idea which im sure has been done before but there is so much to like about this particular story that it stands out as a classic straight away.

The Japanese government come up with the novel idea of combating unemployment and the increasing issue of youth crime, by sending the worse offending classes to a remote island where they are forced into collars capable of killing them and told they have 3 days to murder each other until 1 is left standing otherwise after 3 days they all die. Each youth is given a back pack of supplies, a map, and 1 secret weapon to aid them in their battle, ranging from machine guns, cross bows, right down to a fan and a bin lid. They are forced into moving constantly by fluctuating death zones which they avoid using their map. Some of them chose to work together, others go it alone. Obviously eventually the killing starts and everyone is forced to come up with a solution.

Most of this movie you will find yourself fantasizing about what YOU would do in this scenario, would you (being the first one out) hide behind the door and just kill everyone that came out after you? Would you jump to your death, or would you go out with a bang taking down as many others with you as possible?

It sounds like something you wouldn't like to consider, but it does make you feel like you have learned something new about yourself after watching it. The story isn't just one big kill fest there is a plot to it that is good enough to warrant a re-watch etc. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it and its always good to shove on if someone you know hasn't seen it and your stuck for something else to do etc. There are very surreal moments throughout the story, as if being shoved on an island to kill your class mates wasn't surreal enough, and that just adds to the fun of the film really. My only fear about this great story is that it will be remade in the West. This would be the worst possible thing to happen and would prove that Hollywood is just a massive pile of wank.

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Hairspray review

Posted : 4 months, 1 week ago on 16 April 2008 08:59 (A review of Hairspray)

I must say, having a partner who absolutely loves musicals kind of warps your opinion of them in time. I remember seeing the old version of Hairspray when i was younger just because it was on late at night and i was "staying up" which was a treat. Any other time in life i can safely say iv never subjected myself to the musical variety of film except for the biggies like Greece.
That in mind i wasn't exactly looking to watch this film when i did! My vision of the evening was a quiet night on the computer with a few drinks n the occasional word to the other half, instead she put this on and i wasn't really sure what to expect! I liked the first song, the leads voice is incredibly strong and powerful, i decided it might not be a bad film after all, and that was it! The rest of the story went by in no time, i enjoyed the music, the plot was great, and held important messages about the world, i loved how well they did at making it look like and feel like the 60's etc and how the whole film just seemed spot on. (Note im not old enough to know the 60's but it seemed like how other old films portray it)
Im sure most musical lovers will have bought this film in triplicate by now but any one else who hasn't seen it should give it a shot, even John Travolta almost acts in this film! Its the only time in his entire career iv not hated him for filling a roll. Zac Efron was brilliant in his roll and i feel that although he belongs to the evil Disney corporation etc, and he seems incredibly plastic, he does seem to posses an enormous amount of talent i could never equal and for that i respect him.
This is a great film with well chosen actors, each roll is played perfectly and it is filled with talent from the start. It even almost convinced me to watch more musicals!!

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